i dunno why it happen again for her, and she doesnt deserve this kinda of things. everyone tot he was the "perfect" guy and i feel happy for her when they were together. no one expected this to happen, nonetheless, everyone including me did remind her when she made tt decision. but i still do respect her decision. Now it really happens and everyone was too shocked to say anything.
i guess its his friends' influence which caused him to changed. im sad and worried to see her to be sad again. i just want her to be happy. and im sad to see her gg overseas so soon. its like so sudden. but i know its for her own gd. i cant bear u to see u leave! =( I know we cant be as close as for now. i cant call u whenever i wished when i nd someone to talk to. We cant joke, talk nonsense, go out whenever we like nor play as often as now. argh.. im making myself sad now.
girl its gd for u to think for urself now. everyone is selfish. this is human nature. just go ahead with ur plans initially tt uve planned. I will always respect every decision tt u will make but still, i don bear to see u leave. no matter where u go, u will be always be on my mind. u will always be my bestie,always will (: love u girl..
i feel like tearing when im blogging this entry..
1 comment:
babe!
i almost teared when i see yr entry.. first of all.. i didnt expect this would happen too.. i really dont..
with the promises, assurance, actions, and sincerity, he really touched my heart..
He said he will want to spend the rest of his life with me.. he wants to marry me.. i know to you it may sound foolish.. but tell u frankly.. i see a future in us.. i really do.. he is the man i want to marry..
He was a really nice guy.. he is.. definately.. but ever since he shifted to jurong camp.. he changed..
He kept going clubbing, drinking with his army frds.. i gave him too much freedom..
I can say he's really a good guy.. but he got influenced.. nevertheless.. its all in his mind.. he can reframe himself.. but i guess he cant..
In the past he can.. but now.....
I mean every single person has got their own decision and choice.. what i can do now is to wait till mon.. but i dunno how am i going to survive these 3 days..
i admit i did mention i feel much stronger this time round.. but in actual fact.. i can tell u.. i feel worst.. well... i can only tell myself not to think, like i've said.. its all in my head.. its whether i want anot..
The feeling is like having so much trust and faith in a person.. and the person is the one who gain my trust.. through sincerity.. in the end.. every promises are broken
it's really hurting.. it is..
what i can do is cry out to feel better.. keep myself occupied..
I did ever think of eating pills to sleep forever.. i know its really stupid and its a form of running away... but i'm really upset and disappointed.. to the extend whereby i cant even breath..
My mum just asked me.. whether i really want to study overseas or go SIM.. i told her overseas.. she asked me to consider again.. cause she's afraid i will regret and i want to go is because i want to run away..
alright.. i admit initially i want to go overseas is to leave everything behind.. leaving all the past behind me.. i want to run away from this.. i dont want to face it.. cause i dunno if i will be hurt again.. i really dunno how to describe the feeling..
Human beings can be heartless.. when they feel like doing what they want.. they wouldnt even think of the other party..
As for leo.. i'm sad cause we've been through alot before we really get together... geraldine.. u should know how much we've been through before we get together.. every single obstacles, we managed to overcome. and we didnt give up.
i really feel blessed..i really feel i'm the luckiest girl to have him..
Someone being so understanding, caring and mature..
i just dont understand.. why i cannot be compared to a clubbing girl.. someone whom he got to know in a week can move his heart.. how about me? did he spare a thought for me?
i'm really suffering.. i really feel i dont deserve all these..he dont feel how much effort i've put in.. who is the one to be there for him when he's at his downest..
i can tell u.. i'm a faithful person... As much as i want to go out people whom leo doesnt like.. i will not do it.. cause i know he will be upset.. i know he will be disappointed.. and i know i have him in my heart.. i will think of how he will feel..
having so much promises, he tells me.. he is still playful.. he dont know if he will hurt me in future.. he says he ever thought of bring single.. which he can go ahead to play..
if you do not want to commit or settle down.. why in the first place.. u tried SO hard to chase me.. why wasting your time and my time..
i can say i've wasted 1 year.. but on the other hand.. i really feel happy with him for the past 1 year plus.. he's a much secure guy.. MUCH MORE better then joel..
People kept telling me dont think and all.. i can say its hard..only when one experience it.. then they can feel my pain..
it's the second time.. can you imagine how much hurt i've been through.. its really not easy for me..both were because of other girls... i really dont understand..
issit because i did wrong things in my previous life? and now i have to bear all the consequences..
i really need GOD to tell me.. i need god to ease my pain.. i need god to answer to my prayer..
how i wish i can leave this place this very moment.. to somewhere whereby no one knows me.. to heal my pain..
i'm really very very very sad..
no matter what's the outcome.. i'm prepared... i really need time to heal.. need time to think things through too..
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